25 July 2006

Houston... We Have A Poo

While I shall be the first to admit that I love to travel, even I was a bit taken aback when NASA first approached me to take part in the Shuttle program. As a "Payload Specialist", I would be responsible for conducting zero-gee experiments on behalf of Ralston-Purina, who were busy researching the possibility of LEO (Low Earth Orbit, for you non-technical types) kibble manufacturing.

Always willing to face a challenge, especially if my efforts resulted in higher-quality comestibles for orbiting canine-kind, I quickly agreed.

The mission was thrilling, to be sure. However, one small quibble: to the gentlemen responsible for designing my pressure suit - please do a bit more indepth research into female plumbing before forcing another hapless bitch into one of your torture ensembles. And, while I'm not completely opposed to orange, I really feel a more flattering shade of green would have brought out the undertones in my hair.


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